Okay if you can’t fuck with a girl because of:

  • Pubic hair
  • Stretch marks
  • Scars 
  • Any other natural occurrence of the female form

You aren’t really worthy of it anyway.

(Source: begmebabygirl, via officialalltimelow)


THIS IS HALLOWEEN (like youve never heard) |

ssweaterweather:

have you ever had a friend who is literally like your soul mate but like in a friendship way like you are so compatible and perfect for each other 

image

(Source: compulsives, via officialalltimelow)

li0nroar:

allo-mishamigos:

andrewthepoet:

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.
The End.

Date the waitress.

yes please do date the waitress.

actualucifer:

AND DON’T

FUCKING

TELL PEOPLE

THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING

BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT

JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING

(Source: luciforeal, via ofmice-and-bands)


I Feel Like Dancin'- Acoustic | All Time Low
221bbarricade:

zanetehaiden:

snow-anne:

king-for-a-vagina:

benedicttcumberbatchh:

carryonmy-assbutt:

sassygayklavierspieler:

fandombarf:

alexander2539:

fandombarf:

There’s a dollar in my g string

THAT IS YOUR D STRING. G IS ALL THE WAY ON MY LEFT.

EXCUSE ME you uncultured swine. That IS my G string. LEFT TO RIGHT IT’S: C G D A ON A CELLO. And if you notice the dollar is wonderfully tucked in my G STRING.DO NOT DOUBT MY SIX YEARS OF EXPERIENCE.

FUCKING VIOLINISTS

THEY’RE NOT CALLED VIOLINISTS THEY’RE CALLED CELLISTS

IT,WAS THE VIOLINIST THAT THOUGHT IT WAS THE WRONG STRING JESUS CHRIST

This is just one massive train wreck

String players can be a bit high-strung.

y’all need to cellout

We all need to calm down before this gets violin-t

peble:

did i actually save or did i imagine it? better save eleven more times

(via webs-we-weave)

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

pastperspectives:

guys… it’s a palm tree.

NO

15yearold:

*dramatically falls down on my bed after a long day of sitting on the couch*

(Source: 16yrold, via pizza)

» theme credit «